Once again it is April and work has ordered me to use my holidays or lose them when the new holiday year starts in May. I umm'd and ahh'd, the weather looked cold and a bit miserable and a quick look at campsites in the Devon/Cornwall area suggested £20 a night was the going rate, with £18 a night being the cheapest I could find. Are you 'avin' a laugh, Cornwall? It was suggested to me to check out airbnb, a quick look in central south-westernshire suggested I could stay in Jane's spare room for £23 a night once the "service fee" was added on. Compared to the thought of shelling out just a few quid less and being cold all the time (and having to deal with a tent) this seemed very reasonable, plus I'd be able to charge my phone and subsequently have a small chance of finding the places I wanted to see. A quick google for coupon codes revealed a £25 off voucher for first timers paying with Paypal.. I was set. Land's End here I come!
Starting mileage - 85580
The venerable CB250, ready (?) for another trip. One day this bike
will die and I won't know what to do without it. And who needs big
aluminium boxes anyway, a couple of backpacks are all you could ever want. I would've really liked a top box though, just as I thought to myself last year.. Maybe one day.
Known bike issues at the start of this trip:
a) The chain seems to suddenly be stretching very quickly, annoying.
b) The clutch slips from cold.
c) Both tyres are nearly worn out.
d) The seat has seen much better days.
e) Champion spark plugs can stop working at any time.
f) The wheel bearings front and back are in dire need of replacement.
g) The rear sprocket is flapping about in a most alarming manner.
h) The exhaust is literally disintegrating.
Pre trip maintenance performed - topped the oil up to near max. Off we go!
Stopped for a rest on the way out of Bath - what a confusingly laid out city! It reminds me a lot of central London, so compact and yet if something isn't in the immediate vicinity there are no signs for it. I was also dying for a wee but this layby was a bit too public..
A quick fill up in Radstock and a bite to eat from the petrol station. The warm things they do are actually quite nice! The rain was heading for me though, I had to get moving, try to find my first proper target - Cheddar Gorge. On my way out of Radstock there was a sign pointing to Wells, I thought that had to be the way.. What a merry trek round that was! I ended up going round in a circle, but happily it eventually spewed me out on to the road that heads towards Cheddar, the B3135 - a great road in its own right. Eventually the gorge was upon me..
I also recorded some footage as I was pleasantly surprised to find it was 60MPH limit. This makes it quite good fun until you inevitably get stuck behind a car or a bicycle or a car stuck behind a bicycle. Such is life.
At the end is Cheddar itself which is simply awful, like Sterling in Scotland or, as I was about to find out, St Ives or Tintagel - horrendously touristy with lots of shops trying to sell you tat. Thankfully you can easily whizz past it all though.
At this point time was really moving on and I was hoping to "check in" to my airbnb place before 7PM, so I decided to be terribly boring and use the M5. I also still needed that wee so the thought of motorway services was actually quite tempting..
The M5 dumps you in Exeter, with routes out of the city about as well sign posted as in Bath - this took a while. Eventually I sussed I had to follow signs for Okehampton, this would take me along the A30 along the north edge of Dartmoor and pretty much straight to Launceston which is the nearest town to where I was staying. This would've been easy if only the weather hadn't turned and sleeted all over me, good and proper. Of course my waterproofs were stowed safely in the backpack bungeed to the rack, no chance to put them on. After a few miles the sleet/hail subsided and I pulled in to a layby to try and stave off imminent freezing death. The joy of motorcycling.. The rest of the journey was quite uneventful and by the time I got to Werrington the Sun was shining.
You'd never know what I'd been through.. There's also a dirt track to get to the house, which was most amusing in the dark! Jane turned out to be every bit as lovely as the reviews on airbnb suggested and pointed out several places I should go see, a lot of them right near Land's End.. This was fine with me, the whole point of this trip is to get a picture of the CB250 at Land's End to match up with the picture at John O'Groats that was taken nearly 3 years ago. Also at this early stage of the trip the seat cover had finally torn right the way through (bah) and the chain is as slack as a slack thing (bah!). Once home I would later confirm that the chain was totally shot..
Speaking to a long term lodger in the same house he complained
about the state of the roads and the potholes. I found most of the roads
to be in excellent condition, I have no idea what he was talking about.
Sometimes I felt like I could be in Luxembourg instead! Most of the area makes the Midlands look very poor indeed, as if we don't contribute much tax money at all. And yet a recurring theme of the trip was that Devon and Cornwall are full of old people. They are everywhere. So the NHS costs for the counties must also, presumably, be huge. I don't really understand what's going on here. It reminded me a lot of Scotland, excellent condition yet not enough people there to be paying that much tax money for the upkeep.. Anyway, the room that I paid a meagre £44 for 3 nights for:
And straight down the pub where it happened to be curry night. Monkfish curry was on the menu.. Damn right.
Also tried a pint of "Cornish Best", very boring, cannot recommend. Curry was good though. With the first day suitably completed, I should've had a decent sleep but the pillow was too big and fluffy - this is turning out to be quite a problem for me. Perhaps one day I'll learn to take my own, much thinner pillow.
Day 2! From Werrington the B3254 (great road) runs northwards to Bude, right on the north coast. After some marvellous coastal roads this took me near Tintagel, which I remember visiting with my Dad way back during the last foot and mouth crisis was happening. I thought I'd go see it now I've grown up a bit.. No chance, I passed all the tat shops ("Traditional Cornish Breakfast" - what?) and the car parks that were demanding money and never caught a glimpse of the castle. Eventually I settled on a picture of the coast instead.
At this early stage it was still new and exciting. Though it was also bitterly cold, this would be a constant factor in the trip. Slightly dismayed I set off along the north Cornish coastline to try and find Padstow, or "Padstein" as the locals apparently call it because Rick Stein has taken the place over. After getting a bit lost yet again I eventually found Padstow, but it seemed to be a large car park on what seemed to be more of an industrial estate than a fishing village. I filled up at the local Texaco, ate a Wispa and left. Next on the agenda was Newquay, mostly as a checkpoint on the way to St Ives. Of course I ended up going round and round Newquay, the signage is far from excellent. Thankfully my phone was fully charged due to not camping, so I was never truly lost. The road between Padstow and Newquay is also fantastic, which improved my mood. I managed one picture in Newquay when I stopped yet again to check my phone to see if I could figure out how to escape in something resembling the right direction..
Looks really nice, right? Don't be fooled, it can only have been 8C tops. I eventually did escape Newquay, due to time hammering on because I wasted so much time being lost I decided to forego the supposedly excellent coastal roads and use the A30 down to Hayle instead. I stopped at the Hayle services, had a wee in the McDonalds and a toffee latte, and zero regrets were had. Full of sugar and empty of wee I set off for St Ives, the famous pasty place (and something to do with art and light or whatever). After a quick ride around on the harbour with lots of people trying to keep out of the way (no, really, that's how it's laid out!) I found some free parking and went to find the fish and chips that my host Jane had told me about - they are handed out of a window so you can eat them on the beach. I never found whichever shop this is, but I did buy a stilton and beef pasty instead. This turned out to be cold, so I was already disappointed. Then I got mugged from behind (and clouted round the head!) by a seagull who fancied at least a quarter of my pasty. Thinking back, Jane did warn me.. Basically, St Ives was not my most favourite of places. It sure is pretty though!
Well, most of it. It is still a seaside town, I suppose..
DOUBLE DENIM ALERT WOOP WOOP
Somewhat dismayed and still slightly hungry (bloody seagulls) I set off for St Just in the vague idea of having an ice cream on a deserted beach. St Just was recommended to me by Jane, and everything she had said had been true so far so I was looking forward to this. I saw a sign for "Cape Cornwall" which rang a bell so I headed for it. I also remembered Jane saying "Well, it's not a beach really". Err yeah..
No beach, a hut trying to serve some kind of food but money was being demanded for parking so no chance of that. Thankful of the ease of use of the CB we scrambled back up the gravel car park and left..
These destinations were all turning out to be a bit rubbish, but the road from St Ives to St Just was sublime. As I think I mentioned, the road from Padstow to Newquay was also excellent - so good I had to take video proof of both!
Hairpins, sweepers, empty.. Yesss. I don't understand why this area is full of cars, what are they getting out of it? And most of the bikes there were from the Netherlands, not the UK.. We're all missing out.
Next stop was the big one - Land's End. More great road, and a car park attendant who couldn't believe I'd come all the way from Leicester on my "CM". Close enough, thanks for the free parking. I found the other bikes there most amusing..
I was going to make a joke about them having read in MCN that you need a bike like that to nip down the shops but later realised they were from the Netherlands, as of course most people are when you go on tour to somewhere nice. But then they've probably only come as far as me, maybe less. Ha!
The visitor centre for Land's End is pretty grim, as you may naturally suspect if you're suitably cynical. This kind of thing:
Eventually the hail and rain stopped (it must've been half an hour) and I could finally leave the overhang in which I and a couple of walkers were hiding under. The Dutch people went into the cafe, clearly they have more disposable income than us Brits. I braved the chance of getting soaked again and took a few snaps..
I would've liked to have the bike in shot with the sign but the layout is such that you just can't get to it with a vehicle. Well, you could, but you might end up in trouble. This was the best I could manage:
It'll do. I'd had enough of the constant cold and rain that seems to be what Land's End is all about and headed off down some tiny little roads in search of a little place called Mousehole (pronounced "maozel") which Jane had recommended. She didn't fail me this time..
The entrance to Mousehole is down an incredibly steep road, which was most amusing as the bike popped and spluttered through the disintegrating exhaust on overrun. I had hoped to find some deliciously fresh fish and chips here but weirdly there was no such shop in the immediate vicinity and, sadly, money was being demanded for parking yet again. I quickly left and went in search of fish and chips elsewhere along the south coast, where there was suddenly a lot more traffic. I eventually saw a sign for Marazion, which I remembered Jane had mentioned, something to do with St Michael's Mount and being able to walk to it if the tide is out. Sure enough some excellent fish and chips were procured from a very happy bloke who liked to talk about cars, right in front of the Mount itself.
This was turning out to be an absolutely mega day. At this point it was about 18:30 so I had to make a beeline for the farmhouse. I decided to go back via Truro and St Austell, but by the time I got to Bodmin it was still light.. So I headed out to Wadebridge and back to Bude. By the time I got back to base it had been dark for at least 30 minutes and I was frozen to the core, had to hide in my bed to warm up. Ahh motorcycling! The B3254 was still good even in the dark though, felt like I was in a rally stage..
Day 3. With Land's End done and dusted I felt like I had free reign over what to do with this day, but there was only really one thing to do - see Exmoor and Dartmoor. With a vague notion of fish and chips in Looe (a Jane recommendation, apparently it's where the locals go) I decided to do a clockwise loop of Exmoor first and then Dartmoor. Confusingly Exmoor is the northern one, not the one with Exeter next to it. Anyway, I set off up the B3254 yet again and promptly got a bit lost trying to follow the A39, then I saw a sign for Clovelly. This used to be a quaint seaside village built on a steep hill that, like Tintagel, I had visited with my Dad a long time ago. I followed some very small roads and eventually was guided into the beautifully surfaced car park by two staff, I already knew this wasn't going to end well. There was an area for bike parking cordoned off, which was nice, but apparently you now have to enter Clovelly through the visitor's centre and the entry fee for an adult is an eye-watering £7.25. I had a swig of my Lucozade, took this picture, spoke to a couple who'd just turned up on a Victory (no, really) and left..
There was clearly no point in staying, I can't imagine how much a cup of coffee would be. Next up was faffing about finding my way to Barnstaple and then a clockwise loop around Saunton, Woolacombe and to Ilfracombe. This was highlighted in my "Bikers' Britain The Tours" book but I really didn't find it very spectacular at all and Woolacombe is surprisingly difficult to find your way out of! Ilfracombe was alright with free parking and a jolly nice sandwich shop, but time was soldiering on (again, it was about 2PM by now) and I had yet to reach Exmoor. I passed through Combe Martin (passing my cousin and her young son but they'll never know it was me!) and barrelled into Exmoor.. This was superb. Footage was taken.
Sweeping, relatively empty of cars, occasionally beautiful, highly recommended.
I think this may all be due to the fact that there's not a lot of interest in north Devon, so no one bothers with it. Really, stupidly great. I eventually popped out of Exmoor at the southern town of Exebridge, following signs for Tiverton which I had a vague notion of heading to Crediton from. The signage in Tiverton is abysmal, of course I ended up on the M5.. Still it saved me a little time in the day. Right down past the end of the M5, Ashburton here I come.. Ah hello Dartmoor. And who are these!?
Turned out there are quite a lot of Dartmoor ponies to be seen!
As well as some slightly more dramatic views than in Exmoor..
If you're out looking for riding nirvana, however, Dartmoor is not it - there is a blanket 40MPH speed limit on account of all the ponies in the road. Makes sense, I guess, but this does take the edge off the excitement somewhat. Also, yet again the signage is terrible and I did end up going the wrong way for about half an hour.. Oh well. Eventually I ended up on the east side of Dartmoor, at Tavistock, and decided to head to Looe because I hadn't eaten any chips all day. A vague plan was formed, Tavistock - Callington - Liskeard - Looe. It looked so simple on the map, but it always does.. Incredibly there were signs to follow for each of these places and before I knew it I had covered ground at a reasonable pace and was in Looe! Cor.
Supposedly the locals like Looe because it's where the fish comes in, so it's fresh. And it's pretty of course. Catch of the day was Plaice and chips, get in me..
By about 8PM it was time to leave, plus I was getting mildly sick of all the old people clogging up the place. The helpful signs were again followed to Callington, and then the A388 goes straight up to Launceston - it couldn't have been easier. Except it was dark, at times raining quite heavily and a BMW driver decided to try and tailgate me as closely as possible for a few miles, his xenon lights blasting my mirrors. Thanks dude. After a few miles it stopped raining and I arrived at Launceston in a rather decent mood.. I decided a stop in the pub was a good way to end the trip. A pint of the Cornish lager "Korev" was ordered, which turned out to be a ridiculous £4.10 and was just like any generic lager. Summed up the trip really, anything at all touristy or with Cornish written proudly across it turned out to not really be worth bothering with. Of course I trusted the weather to have stopped raining and left my helmet and gloves outside, which got rained on.. Yep, great. Home please.
Day 4, let's go home. Since I didn't have a particular time to get home I decided that rather than using the A30 and M5 like a sane person I would make a day of this 250 mile trek and use the A39 right along the top of Devon instead. I'd also have another crack at Cheddar Gorge, perhaps it won't be so busy this time.. Ha, as if.
I was getting to know my way around by now so once again it was the B3254, then off to Holsworthy, Great Torrington, Barnstaple and the A39.. All of which went to plan! The A39 runs along the top of Exmoor and was suitably fun, particularly once past Lynton. It was so good between Lynmouth and porlock I even had to record some footage..
I stopped in Porlock for some delicious steak and ale pie (and chips, natch) in a cafe that was, of course, full of old people. I expected incredible levels of robbery for some food in this quaint yet touristy little village but the price was actually perfectly reasonable - perhaps these old timers know what they're doing?
Look at that pavement, so Devonian.
Full of chips, and with the best roads behind me (and their 25% slopes!) I headed for the Gorge once more. A quick stop off in the Mendips for fuel and a Wispa Gold was required..
And then I found the Gorge was even more full of cyclists and cars than before. After that it was Bath, Stroud, Cirencester and the A429/B4455 all the way home - quite yawn inducing after the spectacle of the A39. Back to the boring Midlands :(
Ending mileage: 86665
Bike condition afterwards:
Tyres more bald than before but still not properly worn out
Clutch slipping a bit more
Seat torn to buggery
Exhaust a bit louder/rattlier
Chain is at the end of its adjustment
Oil needed topping up again (though I think this was mostly leaked past gaskets rather than burnt off!)
More miles needed..!
Trip stats
Total miles: 1085 (I must've got lost a lot)
Mechanical calamities: 0 (phew!)
Portions of chips eaten: 3
Total cost: ~£200
MPG: ~85
Litres dripped from nose because it was so bloody cold: 12+
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